Sunday, 23 February 2014

Self Hatred!!!

The term 'self hatred is real' is no joke or lie at all. We commonly hear it when black people talk about another black person hating on his own kind. This is common in Nigeria (I mention Nigeria coz its my country and I can only speak of what I know).

My cousins and I walked into a bar one night sometime last year, this was like our first time there together and we didn't know we had to make reservations. There was obviously no where to sit so we decided to stand by the pillars. We saw a waitress & called her, she moved close to take our order and then a white man who obviously just walked in called her too, she turned round to look at him then back at us and she says 'wait I'm coming'.... Ehhhh Jesus, oh this bitch did not just do that. My cousin was more furious than I was, for her it was more annoying coz she has lived all her life in America and had experienced it a lot, atleast more than I had. Minutes later the waitress came to take our order, infact I think we had to call her back (not sure), but my cousin gave her the lecture she will never forget, be good to your own kind, you will leave your country to another mans land and they will not treat their kind the way you just treated yours. We even asked to know if the white man was there before us or she had been serving him before we got there to be sure so we wouldn't be jumping into conclusion but we were there first. (Please note, coz I know there are some slow beings out there who like to talk before thinking, I have nothing against people of another skin colour).

Now the reason I wanted to talk about self hatred was as it regards to us women, see how I just entered another gist. Lol. Why do we women disrespect ourselves so much? Why do we feel its okay to compete with one another when we should be helping each other? Why is it so easy for us to bring another woman down when we should be supporting each other? Women are so amazing, some of us have no idea.

I was having dinner with my cousin on friday night and we started talking about females, how special we are, close female friends etc. She made a valid point I never sat to think about before, any woman who doesn't have atleast one close female friend needs to check herself. Now I'm not saying just a friend you can gist and gossip with, I mean a friend you can rely on, a friend who will help you grow in life, a friend who will help you get closer to God, that kind of friend. I was one of those who used to have like 5 close male friends (or even more) and maybe 2 close female friends and the closeness wasn't real like that o. I love my guy friends, some of them even advice me about things my female friends should but a woman is a woman.

I was a tomboy up until Uni and a big one for that matter, I was all about the baggy jeans and man shirts. Being a tomboy wasn't my doing, I was the only child and I grew up with men around me, that was part of the reason why I felt closer to men. In my 2nd or 3rd year in Uni, I had this brown mesh dress I used to wear, in my head this dress was the sexiest shit ever, lol. Two of my close female friends would tell me to stop wearing it and if I didn't they would take it off me one day and burn it, which they did, lol. Oh boy I find the dress tire I no see until they told me it was gone, the thing pain me sha but it was for my own good. One of them made it her job to get me to start wearing padded bra's and she succeeded, lol. I Love you forever Rose. She's still a big part of my life and I'm a proud god mother of her kids.

What I'm trying to say is we women are special beings, we have so much to give, we are so strong and some of us don't realise the amount of strength we have, the positivity we emit, men even realise this more than we do. Why see another woman you've never met in your life and give her a nasty look from head to toe like she stole your man? Why sit and judge another woman you know nothing about all because your friend doesn't like the way she walks?

Women are becoming more recognised in the world today, for different reasons so why not help another woman today, you don't know where your help will come from. Self hatred is not something we should have among us, we can achieve so much together.

Its one of my close friends birthday tomorrow, our other friends call us a married couple, lol. I love her to the moon and back, she has done so much to help me in the few years we've been close and I appreciate her for it. Happy birthday 'soon' Ajala boo, love you love you love you :*

Have a great sunday everyone, I shall get back to my hair now. Lol

Love Lowla

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