So i got thinking, what does it feel like dating a married man and i mean being in a serious relationship, not just sex and I'm here staring at my computer, thinking 'it makes no damn sense'… He's married and that's all there is to it. Whether he's happy in his marriage or not.
Why did i think about this? Well all thanks to Mad Men, I'm so drawn to the show, i don't think i want it to ever end. Lol. If you watch Mad Men then you know what I'm talking about when i bring up a topic like this. The episode where Peggy actually thought Ted would really leave his wife for her only for it to backfire and he tells her he is moving to California with his family, i was yelling at the screen telling her not to listen to him but did she listen to me?? NO she didn't. Lol. This is not saying Ted didn't love her, he said it loud and clear to Don that he was in love with Peggy but he had worked so hard to keep his family together, he had been married for 11 years & had 2 sons, he wasn't going to let that go to waste.
You all know how i like to use myself as an example, so go on and ask me… Have you dated a married man Lola? Nope i haven't but i think i have been close to doing that and it was very recent, last year i think and i thank him so much for not purshing. It was weird & felt good, all this and we didn't even go as far as kissing each other, it was serious lust, lol. I didn't tell anyone how i felt till now, better that way cos no names mentioned here. Lol.
We met early in the year and i didn't know he was married, we got chatting one night and it went on for like 3-4 hours. At around 3am, still chatting, he responded to my question and then continued with 'but I'm married so i guess i should stop' and at that moment i actually said out loud 'OH FUCK NO'. After that i told him thanks for telling me and we said our goodnights. A few days later we were chatting again, this time around he asked what i was doing, i replied with i was bored and at home which was the truth but i asked myself why i said that cos it would seem like i was trying to pass a message. He then said i should come meet him at some bar in Lekki for drinks, i thought okay its just drinks and there will be people there so i said yea sure but then he replied with 'You know what, we would probably end up fucking so maybe you shouldn't'. I smiled & shook my head when i got that, then replied with 'if you're so sure about that then maybe i shouldn't'. I really did appreciate him being that open and straight forward with me and I'm happy with Me for not even thinking of pushing it. Would i have actually gone further if he didn't say all he said? I don't think i would have dated him, knowing he was married was all i needed. If i would have done anything it would have been to make out with him but thank God that didn't happen cos only God knows what i would have felt after kissing him and that's just me being honest. Now maybe he does cheat on his wife, i do not know, but after that chat with me i can bet on my life that he doesn't. I still see him around and yes we are good friends, no more lustful chats, lol.
I have trained myself for as long as i can remember not to ever date or fall in love with a married man, my cousins and i used to say when we were kids that once we got married we would place a curse for any woman who tried to take our husbands away, in any way. Lol.
As women, we've all done stupid things, I'm happy i wake myself up when i enter stupid situations. I know for sure that dating & falling in love a married man can be one of the worst kinds of relationships a woman can get into, its not rocket science to figure this out. You enter a world of joy and all that happiness can be withdrawn instantly. Think of all the confusion, yes you get all the gifts you want but that really isn't all you want from him if you're in love with him. If you're dating a married man and you're waiting for your turn, like Dr Phill said 'its time to re-evaluate your life'. All you know is what he tells you, think about his wife, put yourself in her position. If he tells you he will leave his family for you, that doesn't guarantee success because if he does it for you then by all means he will do it to you. Even if he is separated you still shouldn't be involved until he is fully divorced. Relationships born out of affairs hardly last. If he is living this deceptive life with you, how can you ever trust him if you finally end up with him? You may say 'but other women do it', here's a tip for you, You Are Not Other Women, You Are You and that's all that matters.
I know a lot of Nigerian women say 'He can cheat o, but he should not bring that nonsense home and i must not find out', i used to say that years ago but right now….Fuck NO! That is no way to think and i refuse to have a cheating husband, its that simple. Put your mind to what you want and you will get nothing less. It works for a lot of women so why should you be different?
Im no love doctor or an agony aunt, lol, i just like to share :-)
Also this is not a post for ladies who did not know the guy was married.