Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Broken Homes

I realize that I'm sorta closer to guys/have more male friends and can communicate with them better today, could this have to do with my childhood? I started contemplating about this because someone sent me a brief but straight to the point story about her life. Her message is below:

"So after reading Lowla's post about what women really want i kinda had a flashback about my life. How my mom left my dad and had me moving from one relative's house to another, what did she really want? That's by the way, although i guess she has her own reasons. Back to me, i wouldn't say i had the best childhood nd i wouldn't say its the worst, all i remember is moving nd moving. I like how people would be like "family is the best blah blah" lol, not to sound crude but i try my best to stay away from family cos mines bring trouble. So fast forward lets say 10 years later, now i have a beautiful boy and even though i'm not with his dad, i really want him to have the kinda relationship i never had with my dad (that's not to much to ask yeah?) Lol. So this is me wanting things my mom never gave me for my son. This is what i really want...xx"

In retrospect i look at my own story, my mum was absent for a good part of my life, she was in and out and pretty much absent from my Junior secondary school till my 3rd year in Uni. Ive been living with my dad since i was 2 years and 4 months old, I was his only child for 24 years and all the while when i was growing up, i never felt lonely, i had my male cousins who lived with us so it was not a dull/quiet childhood, they thought me a lot and i learnt so much from them, in fact i was a tomboy for many many years. Lol. By the time i heard from my mum again which was my 3rd year in uni, my step brother tracked me down and i learnt that my mum was seriously ill, hearing this news, i broke down, i remember crying a lot and my friend being the one to comfort me. This is a woman i was so mad at for not being a part of my life growing up but the news i heard changed everything, all i wanted to do was see her and hold her. All that anger is in the past now, my mum is a part of my life today and we are great friends once again.

To answer your question (writer), No. What you want for your son is not too much to ask for. You want the best for your son, you want him to have a relationship with his dad so he grows up to be a decent man who gets love from both his parents. So keep pushing for that, play your part and by the grace of God, all will turn out well.

It's hard when people come from less than ideal childhoods, but you can choose to make a change for yourself and the next generation. You can choose to use the negative past as a motivation to create a better future for yourself and everyone around you. There's no point making a nuisance of your life all because you are from a broken home, a lot of people go through this but turn out great coz they made something positive come out from the negative past. Separated parents need to be there for their children, these kids need you present in their lives. Do not let another man or woman take your place in your child's life, do not be their 2nd daddy or mummy when you're actually the 1st and biological. That child is more important than whatever problem you both have with each other, put them first.

Every woman/mother should want what is best for her children and must put them first no matter what.

Love Lowla


  1. From Single dads, Fighting Fathers on Facebook: I to lived my life without my father.... my mom had me moving around so much... in grade 1 I went to a dozen different schools and failed because of it.... but I made up for that when i skipped grade 4!! our childhoods really do reflect who we are when we grow old, so it's important to always remember not to regret anything that has happened in your life, those things are what has made you you, and you should be proud!!

  2. From Broken Home Society on Facebook: When you are a young child, you have no choice; your parent(s) make choices for you; When you grow up you can be whatever and whoever you want to be. The only one stopping you, it's you. Yes...It's nothing you can do about your past, but it's plenty you can do about your present and your future.