Sunday, 1 September 2013

Casual Sex, Flings/Affairs.... Healthy for Women or not?

Sex... It is a natural phenomenon, it happens and we as humans love it, some of us more than others (either man or woman). I've heard people talk about women who love sex and the way they describe them makes it sound like a bad thing. I look at them and think to myself 'so what if she enjoys sex more than other women you know? So what if she loves to explore her body and sexuality?'.. Why is it okay for men to enjoy it and wrong for women to?

Some days ago a few friends and I were discussing casual sex, I said I felt sex was overrated and there is absolutely nothing wrong with having casual sex, after all we are all matured here, lol... The guys agreed with me and then I added this 'however I do not think having flings/affairs , casual sex is healthy for women'. They looked a little surprised after I said that, and just as I explained to them after my opinion, using myself as an example.... 'I do love sex and I don't think there's anything wrong with having flings but I try to stay away from it, not that I haven't had flings in the past, I have but knowing me and this goes for other women as well, having continuous sex with someone which involve conversations, jokes, knowing the person more than i did when we started the affair etc... all leads to feelings, feelings that will nurture and grow over time and before I know it, ill go to bed thinking bout him, worrying bout him and ill end up wanting more than we bargained for in the beginning. I've been there before and because of this I stay away from flings. I would rather have sex with whoever once in a few weeks, not communicate until the next time he calls to come over or I call to invite him over, this way everyone is fine, I don't end up asking 'what are we doing, can we please define this thing that we have'...

The reason above is why I feel flings/affairs are not healthy for women.. We are soft by nature and its time some women stop arguing that we are not soft when it comes to certain things. And like my friend tried to explain the other night 'it takes a strong woman to get into a fling and walk out just as she walked in'. I know myself by nature so I would not get into something I know will make me hurt myself at the end of the day because if we look at it well, the guys didn't hurt us, we did the moment we fell for them. I'm not saying its our fault, it not like we can control how we feel or who we fall for, but it is also not the guys fault. If you do not want a fling, please ladies state that categorically from the beginning and if you want to be sure what's happening between you two, there is absolutely nothing wrong in asking the guy to define what you have... Yes, put a label on IT.

Love Lowla

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