Sunday, 13 October 2013

Is Dating Your Friends Ex Okay?

We women tend to have certain codes when it comes to men and one of them is 'Never date your friends Ex'. I've been thinking bout the perfect way to write this piece but I'm just going to go ahead and pour it out the way I feel. 

Call me a bitch if you must but the truth is this, when it comes to matters of the heart, you can't control how you feel about the opposite sex, or same sex if you swing that way. Dating is hard and it’s not easy to just toss a good guy aside. If genuine interest, real chemistry and a feeling deep in your heart telling you that he might be The One exists, are you supposed to ignore that because of the “Code?” Or do you follow your heart, friendship be damned? It’s tricky, but not unheard of.

I'm an emotional person by nature and yes I have done really stupid things when it comes to guys. Have I dated a friends ex in the past? Yes I have. Am I still friends with my friend? Yes. Do I regret it? No I do not.

I hear a lot of ladies say to their friends 'oh he's off limits, even if he's my ex'. I only say that to my cousins coz well my sister is 4 years old, lol. Why is he off limits? What if you dated him 5 years ago and now you're married or engaged to be married or in another relationship, does the code still work in this case? My friends and I have discussed this issue in the past and I for one don't care, an ex is an ex and he'll remain that way unless God says otherwise. Infact, 2 of my friends Ex's hit on me at the same time once, and I remember telling another friend of mine 'or am I meant to marry one of her Ex's' and my friend replied 'you never know, maybe its your destiny', lol. And this friend in question had no issues that her Ex was on my case, she would always ask 'how far, have you met him yet?'. Did I end up dating any of these 2 guys? Nope I didn't.

This is indeed a tricky and complicated issue. If you have feelings for your friends Ex, try talking to her about it. Let her know how you really feel, she's in a better position to advice you on who the guy really is, not to say if he treated her wrong he will do the same with you. Do not also be stupid and go for the wrong guy the wrong way, that'll lead to the end of your friendship and trust me, no guy is worth losing your friend over. Emotions take time to heal so its most likely your friend will be uncomfortable with you dating her Ex, or not, people are different. This situation is only okay if your friend has moved on, either to another relationship or just over him. I personally have no issues with this topic, you never know where you will find love, it could be right infront of you and frankly circumstances have to shift for things to evolve.

I try not to get myself in such situations so when my friends introduce their boyfriends to me, immediately I register in my head 'he's off limits'. No matter how cute he is, I just won't find him attractive enough to want to be with him. To be honest, the only guy that is off limits to my friends is my first love, i just will Not accept it. NO WAY, lol. Like I said tricky issue but it can always be handled well. Be smart, follow your heart but also use your head well.

This is all my opinion, what you feel may be the complete opposite to this. We all do not think or reason the same way.

Love Lowla

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